you're beautiful
he says i'm a beautiful woman. i'm a beautiful person.
he holds me, puts his hand on my head, puts his arms around me neck and says
he loves me, but he's not in love with me
he says though, that very honestly, when i was wearing that ridiculous red curly haired wig and dancing, he was in love with me. for just that moment.
he asks me what i want.
i don't want anything i reply.
i sit in a corner of the underground cellar in the bar and resolutely read random books i pick up from the shelf
how can i say
i want you to be in love with me
he says he wouldn't hang on what he said before, that if i weren't a banker, and he didn't have a girlfriend (and the subtext that if he was in love with me), he would marry me
he says i'm being aggressive. why are you being aggressive? what did i do? i'm an innocent bystander. you're being pathetic now. when i said i wanted to go to chinatown. i wanted to have duck noodles.
he felt responsible somehow.
i hopped into a cab to assuage his feeling of responsibility
and asked the cabbie to drop me off at chinatown, barely two minutes down from regent street. £3.80
maybe i was being aggressive. i was being defiant. i will survive. i'm 24 and i've never died yet. i've survived. how old am i? you haven't seen me die yet have you? i ask
22. and the fact that you've survived is amazing enough
i have to live as i want to. i say i want to go to chinatown, then by god i'll go to chinatown
it's your loss i said. and mine. both our losses
yes, he agreed. it's a loss, his loss
i rest my chin on his shoulder and look towards the wall
maybe it's better
i'm saving myself all the heartache
how long are you going to hide he asks
i'm not hiding
are you saying i'm hiding?
tears stream down my face.
he reaches out, puts his hand on my head, takes my hair in his hand
it's scary how much he can read my mind
how i have an idea which will destroy it all
our love (but clearly not his in love-ness) for each other
he guesses
i deny
he says i lie
yes, i lied
but he wants, prefers me to lie
so he will be comfortable
he takes it easy, ignores the difficult situation i've put him in he says
he breaks my heart
how can i let a boy i barely know break my heart
this, is rock bottom
he holds me, puts his hand on my head, puts his arms around me neck and says
he loves me, but he's not in love with me
he says though, that very honestly, when i was wearing that ridiculous red curly haired wig and dancing, he was in love with me. for just that moment.
he asks me what i want.
i don't want anything i reply.
i sit in a corner of the underground cellar in the bar and resolutely read random books i pick up from the shelf
how can i say
i want you to be in love with me
he says he wouldn't hang on what he said before, that if i weren't a banker, and he didn't have a girlfriend (and the subtext that if he was in love with me), he would marry me
he says i'm being aggressive. why are you being aggressive? what did i do? i'm an innocent bystander. you're being pathetic now. when i said i wanted to go to chinatown. i wanted to have duck noodles.
he felt responsible somehow.
i hopped into a cab to assuage his feeling of responsibility
and asked the cabbie to drop me off at chinatown, barely two minutes down from regent street. £3.80
maybe i was being aggressive. i was being defiant. i will survive. i'm 24 and i've never died yet. i've survived. how old am i? you haven't seen me die yet have you? i ask
22. and the fact that you've survived is amazing enough
i have to live as i want to. i say i want to go to chinatown, then by god i'll go to chinatown
it's your loss i said. and mine. both our losses
yes, he agreed. it's a loss, his loss
i rest my chin on his shoulder and look towards the wall
maybe it's better
i'm saving myself all the heartache
how long are you going to hide he asks
i'm not hiding
are you saying i'm hiding?
tears stream down my face.
he reaches out, puts his hand on my head, takes my hair in his hand
it's scary how much he can read my mind
how i have an idea which will destroy it all
our love (but clearly not his in love-ness) for each other
he guesses
i deny
he says i lie
yes, i lied
but he wants, prefers me to lie
so he will be comfortable
he takes it easy, ignores the difficult situation i've put him in he says
he breaks my heart
how can i let a boy i barely know break my heart
this, is rock bottom
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